IkonJSJ

10  10 Those who know your name  trust in you,      for you,  Lord , have never forsaken  those who seek you. ---- Given everything that's been going on with me lately and with my family, this verse gives me a lot of encouragement. It's comforting to know that God doesn't forget or forsake those that seek after Him. This thought, though, leads me to 2 questions. 1) Does it mean I'm not seeking His face properly? 2) Does it mean I'm not seeking His face long enough? I'm so used to instant gratification that when things don't happen right away, it's very easy for me to get discouraged. Thinking about it, it's kind of funny and embarrassing because there are so many times that God has been faithful and answered my prayers in ways that I wanted and in ways that I wasn't expecting, but i continue to doubt Him and think that He doesn't have my back. ----- Lord, I repent for not trusting you enough. I pray that as I continue to seek Your face...

Psalm 10 - Be wary, Seek God no matter what, and Trust in Him What a sharp Psalm. These are descriptions of how NOT to be a Godly man and how NOT to act. Yet, I can see myself stumble in these ways too. What a way to be shocked into reminder. Yet, it's also a great way to remember that even when I fail in sin or feel so far gone, I'm really not that far gone. This to me is a vivid reminder that God is truly with me, and that I truly can be too self-critical. As scary as these examples are, I know that I am not truly them. Still, I cannot become complacent or take advantage of God's heart in me. What I loved about the ending of this Psalm, is how it reveals how to approach God. v. 14-15 Speaking it to God Admitting it to God Leaving it to God Trusting it to God Remember, v.17, the Lord our God hears and knows and moves in His timing. Do your part, and pray and lift it up. I need to remember that even if I know that God will move in His timing, that does not mean I...

Through the praise of children and infants      you have established a stronghold  against your enemies,      to silence the foe  and the avenger. ----- As I was reading this Psalm, this verse really intrigued me. I was reflecting back on Professor Elijah's message when he was talking about how children aren't actually innocent. If anything, they're a bunch of cheaters and liars. So, if that's the case, why does God place so much emphasis on children and infants. I started to think about how kids will often times be very transparent and simply say what's on their mind or voice their desires without any ulterior motives. They simply compliment because they mean it or request something because they want it. Im the same way, I feel like this verse talks about the purity of the praises of children and infants. I feel like, as adults, it's easy for us to go through the motions without sincerity. There are some days when I worship the Lord ...

Psalm 8 3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? It is truly amazing that God would care for us. God has created and stiched so many people over the centuries and history of human kind. Thousands upon thousands, and yet God care for each individual. It is truly amazing. As I am learning what it means to know I am loved by God, and loving on myself, what a statement. The world today will say that you are a spec, that you don't matter, that you are only a number. In order cases, you are just a living organism, reacting to chemicals, that will go back to the dirt and the cycle of life. Perhaps due to the fact that it's sometimes difficult to understand that we matter. It's easy to fall into that lie. That I'm just a number.  A little poof in the years and years to come. As I read and am reminded of t...

3 Lord my God, if I have done this and there is guilt on my hands - 4 if I have repaid my ally with evil or without cause have robbed my foe - 5 then let my enemy pursue and overtake me; let him trample my life to the ground and make me sleep in the dust. Something in my spirit is blocked, I feel weighted down. After Pastor Isaac's sermon, the message has been really weighting on me. To the point that it has been excruciating. It perhaps it's the Holy Spirit pressing on me to take action. I hate having to go through conversations like these, but I have done them in the past. I just feel really awkward doing them, but it's necessary. It's something I feel I have been holding up, mostly unconsciously. But realizing that it is a hurt / resentment that I have been holding on to. And I need to at the very least bring it up, but in a way that I want to seek reconciliation, or whatever it might be. I hate having this feeling being stuck. And the last thing I want to d...

Psalm 9 - What a God! I love that this is a declaration of the Lord our God. Truly, O Most High, is worthy to be praised. What a Psalm to spend time simply declaring the might and glory of God. Sometimes, it is necessary to declare (and maybe even remind ourselves) of who God is, who He has been for us, and who He will forever be. It's a great reminder to pray in this way. As much as there is great need and there is obviously a need for refuge (v.9, 13-20), the Psalm begins by praising and declaring God's glory and His many aspects. v.7-10  - The Lord is a God of many faces, aspects, and does so much v.20 - the power of God, and the reality that there is only one way. It is black and white with our lives and eternity. Still, the most important verse for me is verse 18. v.18 "But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish." In this season of renewal, a continual thought I must hold fast to is that God always sees me, remember...

1  Lord  my God, I take refuge  in you;      save and deliver me  from all who pursue me, 2  or they will tear me apart like a lion      and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue  me. 3  Lord  my God, if I have done this      and there is guilt on my hands — 4  if I have repaid my ally with evil      or without cause  have robbed my foe— 5  then let my enemy pursue and overtake  me;      let him trample my life to the ground      and make me sleep in the dust. [ c ] ---- I love the Psalmist's vulnerability here. There's a sense that he knows that he is absolutely helpless without God's help. For me, it's easy to say that I fully depend on God, but my actions oftentimes portray otherwise. I want to get to a place like the Psalmist where I depend fully and wholly on God. I also admire the responsibili...

I am worn out  from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping      and drench my couch with tears. 7  My eyes grow weak  with sorrow;      they fail because of all my foes. 8  Away from me,  all you who do evil,      for the  Lord  has heard my weeping. 9  The  Lord  has heard my cry for mercy;      the  Lord  accepts my prayer. 10  All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish;      they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame. ----- I really love this Psalm because I can kind of resonate with it. I'm kind of in the same position where I'm so tired of being sad/depressed. So tired of always complaining and feeling sorry for myself. Just like the Psalmist, I want to have the faith to know/believe that God "accepts my prayers." I keep being reminded of what Sung said in one of h...

Psalm 6 1-2 Please, God, no more yelling, no more trips to the woodshed. Treat me nice for a change; I'm so starved for affection. 2-3 Can't you see I'm black-and-blue, beat up badly in bones and soul? God, how long will it take for you to let up? I feel this week hasn't been necessarily particularly hard. Emotionally hard that is. I didn't feel necessarily very sad or frustrated about it. Work was fine and slow for once. But I did have a lot on my plate for this week. Whether it was my own doing, or even other stuff such as extra work I needed to do for other projects. But it does feel like God is constantly taking me to the "discipline" camp. Something to grow my character, or work ethic, etc. Which I feel has been good for my overall growth and sense of responsibility. But it does take a toll after a while. I just feel like there's so much in my plate. It really puts me in a spot, that it's really difficult to do everything o...

Psalm 8 - Majestic God, Elohim, Glory in the Highest This Psalm was quite refreshing.  It's good to be able to reflect on His wonders and to also shout out His Majesty.  What I enjoy from this devotional is that it isn't only a praise in awe of God and His wonders. It's also a recognition and a declaration of God's power, dominion, and vastness. God really is Elohim - the creator God above all things and all of us.  Phew.. I don't know. I'm so fixated on God's path and my own sins, that it can get hard for me to just sit and stand in wonder. No looking at my failures. No seeking a better lifestyle. Not beating myself up. Not putting pressure. Quite simply, seeing God and His Majesty, and declaring His highest glory!  The Lord is great. Great is our Lord who sits above all, has created all, and knows all.  In God, there is joy and peace.  Life is given through God.  To Him be the Glory.  Hallelujah! 

Psalm 7 - Seek His Righteous path and Praise Him Verses 3-5 kind of scared me. Acknowledging sin and wrongful behaviors seem understandable and relatively easy to do. Yet, the amount of judgment in this section is something quite big! I can't imagine asking God to let me be trampled and overrun. I can't imagine it because I feel like I would fail and that I do deserve to be trampled down. The silver lining for me is the portion that says "...and lay my glory to dust." I want to pursue a path that seeks righteousness and that allows me to have integrity within. In verse 8, it does state according to my  righteousness and the integrity that is in me.  I want to announce my own powerlessness and to renounce my ways of digging my own way out, because it really does end up like the scenario in verse 15. May I continue to seek God and find refuge in Him, that I do not become trampled and that I do not fall into my own self-made pit. During this season of renewal and won...

1-3 Listen, God! Please, pay attention ! Can you make sense of these ramblings, my groans and cries? King-God, I need your help. Every morning you'll hear me at it again. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for fire to descend. This morning started quite hectically. Not in a serious or heavy way. But I do wake up, wanting to sleep more, but I know at the back of my mind there's just so much to do. I get caught up with all the things I need to do, it has been hard to just sit down with God as I used to. I wasn't even planning on doing this devotional actually. In the midst of all the chaos, I just felt I needed to sit down and reflect. Anxieties started to creep in once again. Fears for the future, etc. But then I feel God's gentle voice and presence. Assuring me that everything will be okay. It's funny that this psalm it's exactly that. The author comes to God in the morning, and in the midst of everything, he awaits on...

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;      let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them,      that those who love your name  may rejoice in you. ----- This Psalm was actually pretty difficult for me. Not difficult in the sense that it convicted me, but difficult in the sense that it didn't, but I think that's ok. As I was meditated, though, this verse did linger in my mind. It got me thinking, "what does it mean to take refuge in God?" "How does one go about taking refuge in God?" I have a problem with letting things go. Whether that's grudges, relationships, people, insecurities, addictions, and the list goes on and on. While I was reading this, I felt myself wanting more and more to figure out what it means to take refuge in God. To be honest, I think I had this mentality where I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy. Maybe it's because things inevitably become bad again. Maybe it's because I never had examples of ...

Psalm 6 - Suck it up, Keep Seeking God Big title huh? I realize from this Psalm that I am not in the same situation as David. Seriously, I resonate these verses because of my internal battle. They really do help and speak to my soul. Yet, I can't help but to realize that God is there and He will be there as I cry out. Once again, I need to keep practicing this notion of crying out to God. Maybe in this season, it would be good for me to go into a sense of speaking to God regularly, both intimately and informally, and to just lay it all out before God continuously. Because for sure, my couch  isn't drenched and I am not flooded with tears, and I know that people aren't after me, and that my bones are no longer troubled (v.2, 6, 7) What does resonate are verses 2 and 6: v. 2 - "...for I am languishing..." v. 6a "I am weary with my moaning..." I share this to recognize that this is where I am. I am languishing in my disappointment, and moaning for ...

Psalm 5 - Lord Here I Am: Lead me, Show me, Save me, Lift me v.2 - Give attention to the sound of my cry The God who hears me, the God who knows the sounds of my cries. This verse highlights to depth of how I want to be like. Again, it means I need to be crying out and voicing everything to God. The trouble has been that I may be sticking myself in self-established limits and critiques, so I stop short of continually lifting my voice to God. I've shared before slightly, so I'll recap. Often, I feel that I know so much, or have read so much, and have experienced so much to the point that I don't allow the small things to mean so much more. For example, I stop short of telling God every little grievance, every little sin, and every disappointment in myself. And it isn't because I fear God or that I won't be forgiven. It's definitely me thinking it's too small of a concern or that I Need to fix myself up. This takes me to verse 7. v. 7b, "I will bow...

Be angry, [ b ]  and do not sin;      ponder in your own hearts  on your beds, and be silent.  Selah 5  Offer  right sacrifices,      and put your  trust in the  Lord . ------- This verse really struck my heart as I was reading. I have to admit, I'm an external processor. When I'm going through struggles or pains, I often project that onto other people and will often seek the advice of others. I think a part of me does that because it helps me navigate my thoughts, but when I really reflect on the root of it, I can't help but think that there is also a part of me that wants to tell people so they can feel sorry for me? I guess it goes back to my victim mentality. Something that's been really difficult for me to cast down is my desire to please people. Growing up, I was always lonely and so I would do whatever I could to get people to like me, even if that meant having people pity me. Getting older, though, it...

O  Lord ,  how many are my foes!      Many are  rising against me; 2  many are saying of my soul,      “There is no salvation for him in God. ---- As I was reading this Psalm, these two verses really resonated with me. I have a tendency to have a very victim mentality and often times feel hopeless. I'm not necessarily saying I have so many foes in terms of enemies, but moreso internal thoughts that keep seeping into my mind leading me to believe that "there is no salvation for me in God". However, the hope of this passage is that the Lord "answers from His holy hill". It's so odd to me because I hear how people have such a zeal for God when things are going bad and how much they lean on Him. For me, though, it's the exact opposite. It's so easy for me to build that relationship and lean on Him when things are going great, but as soon as things turn South, I subconsciously think that God isn't going to pull through for me. M...

Answer Me When I Call - A Plea, a Desperation, a Hope, a Proclamation 4:1c "Be gracious to me and hear my prayer" V.3 - I know I am set apart, and God chose me to be within Him. Thus, know that God hears me when I call. - So many lessons here - this verse is not simply a reminder. It is speaking truth and is a declaration. What a statement to say that the Lord hears when I call! It means I must keep calling on him. I must believe and trust that I am, and have been, set apart. (v.5) V.7 - This becomes more real for me as of late. There are times that I try to find solace in food… whether fast food (like burgers), beer and scotch, candy and chips, or even not eating. Sometimes, it is easier to eat to feel satisfied or to eat to avoid sins (porn), than it is to stop all things, create space, and spend time with God and the Word. Yet, undeniably, God has done many many many wonders, miracles, and actions in my life that have filled me with joy and still bring up joy. I ...

Psalm 4 4-5 Complain if you must, but don't lash out. Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking. Build your case before God and wait for his verdict. There are many questions I have for God. Constantly. I don't usually express them, but they do get buried up in my soul. And sometimes I can't tell why I'm angry, frustrated, or burnt out. Why has this happened to me? Why is my family separated? Why am I still single? After all of these years of faithfully following you. Why life seems to get more difficult than easy? Why is more put on my plate? I thought I was busy enough. Why others get to enjoy life and I don't? Why am I in a dry season again? Why am I being asked to take risks in my life for you again God? I have all of these things that my heart constantly speaks. Which sometimes God has to remind me as to why. And sometimes even knowing the answer, enduring having to go through it just feels agonizing. There are some good da...

Psalm 3 3-4 But you, God, shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high; With all my might I shout up to God, His answers thunder from the holy mountain. I feel God truly has done such things, and it is continually doing. After Ekklesia, and also finally being back to church (missing one Sunday can feel like an eternity!), I felt renewed. I could say that worship it's probably one of my favorite parts every Sunday. Even though I came in late this past Sunday, it was just so good to be able to bask in the Lord in the last sliver of time. I felt I was in a real funk the past couple of days, but the prayers of encouragement from my Ekklesia has helped lift my spirits. It has been continuasly a season of just being stronger in God. Last week I was full of anxiety due to work. But today I feel at peace. For that I thank the Lord. When things became difficult, when lies filled my head, God reached me through His people and made all things clear again....

I think this Psalm is a good reminder to us about how small we really are. It's so funny because I think, a lot of times, I think i know what's best for me and there are even times when I think God doesn't really know what I want or what's good for me. This Psalm is a reminder to me, though, that nothing I do can even come close to God's power. What's more, God is straight up telling us that we are His children and all I need to do is ask. Just like how everything my Dad owns, he's willing to share with me, imagine how much more so God is willing to bless us, His children. It's actually pretty liberating to know that I don't have to have all the answers... I just need to follow God in His ways, become His son, and God will take care of the rest. I know, easier said than done, but I think one of the beautiful things about God is that He never said it was easy, but He does say that it's worth it. I'm so glad that I'm on this journey wit...