IkonJSJ

Psalm 16 - Juliano 7-8 The wise counsel God gives when I'm awake is confirmed by my sleeping heart. Day and night I'll stick with God; I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go. Despite all the things that I might complain about, or have complained. At the very least, deep inside of me I feel at peace. Taking on God's call. Externally it will be difficult. It will require a lot of faith in God, and wisdom on my part to navigate through. But as I have always taken on God's calling, it does put me well to sleep. Sleep earlier in my life has always been a very difficult thing. I didn't know this until now, but I was constantly anxious growing up. Part of the reason I started falling in sexual sin, it is so that I can fall asleep. It helped me sleep. But now, God grants me sleep. As deep in my core, because I know I'm taking on God's calling and promises. Knowing that God is well pleased with me. And that I am loved. And ultima...

I call on you, my God, for you will answer me;     turn your ear to me and hear my prayer. ---- This is a running theme I'm seeing in Psalms, but I am constantly amazed at the level of confidence that David has in knowing that God is with him, hears him, answers him. I definitely wish I had that confidence. Many times, I feel like I pray to a silent, empty crowd. I don't know if it's my scripts, but there are times when I feel like God has better things to do than to listen to my prayers. I want to shift that kind of thinking and be confident knowing that I am worth God's time simply because I am His child. I want to become confident enough to expectantly ask God for His audience. ---- Father. Help me. I struggle so much with insecurities to the point where it affects my view of you. I repent for thinking you don't care for me. May our relationship deepen to where its a real, tangible experience for me. Amen.

Psalm 15 5 "Keep your word even when it costs you, make an honestliving, never take a bribe. "You'll never get blacklisted if you live like this." Yesterday I went to a prayer house thing. A place in Pasadena called PIHOP, where you can sign up, and go there and receive prayer. The past week I felt very burnout. I think because I didn't really get to rest, so I was very unproductive. That made me feel slightly depressed, delayed, overwhelmed, etc. Going into the prayer time though it was really good. What's awesome is that when they pray for you, they go right in. They don't ask you questions, you just receive prayer right away. All of them hit the mark and were so encouraging. And again they seem to reaffirm so many things, as disappointments, and also my calling. Lately I have been in this "bargaining" stage, where I ask myself "Do I really have to do this..? Aren't there other alternatives..?". That is why this...

Psalm 17 - A Confident Plea for Vindication I want this to be my prayer and the position of my heart. Not only is David crying out and making a plea, he knows that it is both JUST and he is so confident that he can ask it because he has the right heart and has been in the right place to be able to (almost) demand this plea. v. 3 reveals that even with God probing the heart and knowing him, there is no transgression or planned evil. Wow, what a state to be in! V. 5 - “...my feet have not stumbled” I want to be here! And then verse 6-9 show just how much David knows how wonderful God is and that God loves him I see that his plea is in v.13 & 14, and that all this comes from his rich relationship with God and his faithfulness. May I also walk in the ways of God, confidently plea to God, and then be satisfied knowing that whatever happens, will be Good! (v.15)

Psalm 16 - Thank you God, it's all about You This is the format of the Psalm that I picked up, or that I feel makes sense: Supplication & Acknowledgement Declaration Adoration and Worship Thanksgiving & Acknowledgement - - We see David asking God to be kept safe, because he understands that God is the almighty refuge -- I statements of God's eminence, of God's people, and of those who do not follow God -- Sharing the impact and love of God and His works -- the Therefore statement and conclusion It felt very much like a prayer and a simple poetic expression of worship to God. These verses spoke out to me overall:  v.2 "...apart from you I have no good thing." v.6 "...surely I have a delightful inheritance." v. 8-9 "I keep my eyes always on the Lord ... I will not be shaken [...] my body also will rest secure," v.2 is still a constant reminder that my everything comes from God and belongs to God. If I can declare the four wor...

Psalm 15 - Righteous Manners v.2 "He who walks blamelessly ... and speaks truth in his heart..." v.4 "in whose eyes a vile person is despised..." v.5 "...He who does these things shall never be moved." A short psalm that speaks truth into what it takes to dwell on God's Holy Hill - or as I have put it - a psalm that speaks to righteous manners. This was a short list of Does and Does Nots, and then ends with a factual saying the one who acts in these ways won't be moved from that holy place. It was both a good refresher to read and fairly hard to digest because I don't pass the standards that I want to be passing. I know I don't walk blamelessly, and as much as I can put a check-mark on many of the other aspects, I am not satisfied - and I will not be satisfied/complacent - with not realizing a full and fruitful lifestyle. It's been easier for me to be okay with certain actions and thought processes because I am yoked by people w...

Lord , you alone are my portion  and my cup;      you make my lot  secure. ------- I really like this verse. Every so often, I have to bring myself back down from la la land and my fantasies. I like to daydream of the day that I will become who I want to become. Verses like this remind me that God has provided me with everything I need for who He wants me to be right now. Not who He thinks I will be, should be, was, or whatever. Right now. He's given me all that I need to run the race well. It's during times like this that I have to remind myself that it's ok that I'm still single because, again, God has given me what I need. I just need to learn to trust that. ---- God. Thank you for being faithful. May I not get ambitious, but focus on running the race well with the provisions you've given me. Amen.

Psalm 14 5-6 Night is coming for them, and nightmares, for God takes the side of victims. Do you think you can mess with the dreams of the poor? You can't, for God makes their dreams come true. 7 Is there anyojne around to save Israel? Yes. God is around; God turns life around. Turned-around Jacob skips rope, turned-around Israel sings laughter Usually I struggle reading Psalms in this tone. The ones that tend to condemn a person or a group. Because I tend to see myself as the ones condemned. But it was interesting to see the Holy Spirit ask me to read this in a different light. The Entertainment/Art industry is a field I see as almost devoid of Christians. And if there are Christ followers, they are hidden in the bushes. Or not nearly as publicized as others. And this is when my dreams come in. All my life I always had a desire of using my art skills for God. To glorify Him. To tell a story that will encourage Christ followers, as well as bring hope to those ...

who keeps an oath  even when it hurts,      and does not change their mind; 5  who lends money to the poor without interest;      who does not accept a bribe  against the innocent. ------ Shucks, I missed the deadline... Got caught up with some business that kept me out until now.. sigh... anyways... In light of today's message, I feel like this is super powerful. For me, the hardest part has been the keeping an oath part. I was the one who always tried to look out for myself, even if that meant sometimes not keeping my word. It's funny though because it's not like they were blatant betrayals, but like Sung said, some of those sticky situations where I'd have to ask "well, is this really that serious?" Today's message I think helps us become more like the traits the Psalmist wrote. Having a holistic view of redemption and what the Cross means for us will better equip us with the tools to live the way the Psalmist said. ---- L...

Psalm 14 - Right away, this psalm hits hard and hits home. I'm so thankful for the reminder. What we do and what we know, has to be rooted in our faith and in the Gospel...all else is just human knowledge and actions. I love that verse 1 straight up says that "there is none who does good" without the acknowledgement of God. It is easy to forget that without God, nothing really is "good" as the only standard (not even the gold standard) for good is God, not helping or loving on people. For people around me, we tend to all fight for good and to engage in societal issues for the better. Yet, as much as I love the work I do and the people I engage with, without God, it isn't the same. I want to stay in constant reminder that the good I seek to accomplish has a deeper goal and sense of purposes, because it is through God. Aside for that, the psalm still ends with such hope. That God is our refuge and provides salvation. May I continue to be reminded of God...

Psalm 13 - Hope in the face of Sorrow and Anxiety Although short, this psalm is definitely powerful. I can't say I resonate with David's experiences in verses 1-4 at this point of my season or while I'm reading it. However, verse 6 is so real. No matter what is occuring, no matter the kind of sorrow and troubles I'm facing, God is so wonderful to be praised and to be thanked for His many works. I definitely have sorrow in my heart, with which I shared with you both, and it's still a struggle. It's so annoying to be annoyed at myself for just failing and not keeping discipline. Yet, instead of cursing myself, I want to keep rooted in this pillar of support - our faith. God truly has done so much in my life that I can always hold fast to His presence and His plans for me. I pray that I can keep holding fast and not let go, and that this in turn will lead me to keep trecking forward with my discplines and daily victories! (Blogging late from reading th...

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? 5 But I trust in your unfailling love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing the Lord's praise, for he has been good to me. This is relatively a short Psalm, but I feel I emphasize with almost every aspect of it. It's these two modes David goes through. One that is bringing his pains to God, but then another mode where David assures his trust and thanksgiving to God. I suppose lately I have been struggling with jealousy or envy. More in the sense of seeing other people's life situations. I feel like I'm in a season I just got to bite the bullet, and work really hard. There are a lot of things that I need to do logistically. Which leaves not a whole lot of room for hanging out or fun. Before I would be able to cheer on people when they are going through good, but lately it has been proving to be more and more difficult. Just this season of emotional burden and pai...

Do all these evildoers know nothing? ------- Verse 4 really got to me. The way I interpret this is as follows. It's not like sinners sin because they don't know better. Just like how I assume these "evildoers" do evil DESPITE knowing better. There's something to be said about our sinful nature when we sin even though know better. There are many times when I know what I'm doing or what I'm about to do is sinful, yet I do it anyways because I either don't see the repercussions of that sin in the moment or I think it doesn't really matter. I, too, need to get in a better habit of living better. ----  Lord, help me. I know that I need you. Even in the times I may fail, I pray that you would be with me. Thank you for always showing me grace even when I don't deserve it. Amen. 

Psalm 12 6 And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times. Even though it was not the point of the psalm, this passage really stood out to me. I had received an imagery like this before a long time ago. During one of the Ekklesias years ago, someone had a word for me like this before I went to start art school. That God would polish me like gold. I had an idea of what that meant, but it does seem to carry more meaning now. My younger self thought that I "already experienced all". That "what else can I experience that is new?". Unconciously that is. That's when the part it says "gold refined seven times" stood out to me. Realizing that refinement it's not a one go process. My sort of personality likes to get the hard part stuff first out of the way. And I always felt like going through the hard process for the "investment of the future" was always the right move. T...

But I trust in your unfailing love;      my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6  I will sing  the  Lord ’s praise,      for he has been good to me. ----- This Psalm hits home for me in a lot of different ways. The way it starts off is pretty comparable to the way I feel. "How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?" There is this sense of hopelessness that the Psalmist has and that's how I often feel. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'm just overreacting, need to suck it up, and just live my life. haha. But in all honesty, that's how I feel. I feel like I'm always struggling, always going through the same struggles over and over again and right when it seems like I'm making progress, I'm right back to square one. One thing that gives me hope, though, is the way the Psalm ends. Despite the troubles that he's going through, the Psalmist still chooses ...

1  Help,  Lord , for no one is faithful anymore;      those who are loyal have vanished from the human race. 2  Everyone lies  to their neighbor;      they flatter with their lips      but harbor deception in their hearts. ------ I have been thinking a lot about the state of our culture these days and comparing it to the modern day "Christians". It's so sad because I feel like Christianity has turned into such a meaningless faith in the eyes of our society. To be honest, though, I don't blame them. I think so many Western Christians are the epitome of these verses. So good at putting up a front, yet so sinister behind closed doors. For example, many of my High School friends don't go to church, yet they are some of the kindest people I know. On the other hand, some people I know that go to church are the worst, pharasaic people I've ever met. The only good that comes out of this when I think about it is ...

Psalm 11 7 God's business is putting things right; he loves getting the lines straight, Setting us straight. Once we're standing tall, we can look him straight in the eye. This reminds me of a word Pastor Isaac had for me. When the whole situation with my family started. That he was reminded of the tv show home wreckers. In a sense, everything had to be destroyed, so new foundation, new life, can be formed. Somtimes the cost of making things straight it's quite pricey, but ulmately worthy. I've been waiting on God to slowly provide in all the different areas in which I'm expecting Him to blow. I can hear God whispering encouragement in situations I would not have hope or believed in myself. God has taken me far to on finding a job on my industry. God made someone who was stuck in unemployment anew again. And now God still gives hope that I will have a family, despite my inner fears, demons, and insecurities. Even though God is taking His time, He ...

Psalm 10 12-13 Time to get up, God - get moving. The luckless think they'are Godforsaken. They wonder why the wicked scorn God and get away with it, Why the wicked are so cocksure they'll never come up for audit. 14 But you know all about it - the contempt, the abuse. I dare to believe that the luckless will get lucky someday in you. You won't let them down: orphans won't be orphans forever. 15-16 Break the wicked right arms, break all the evil left arms. Search and destroy every sign of crime. God's grace and order wins; godlessness loses. Even though this psalm seem to deal specifically with persecution, I do feel as interpreting this more in the lens of spiritual attacks rather than personal persecution. I feel often times there are spiritual attacks happening due to several reasons. As I take on God's call and obey Him, as well as being part of the intercessory team. It's pretty frontlined, and ever since I took Pneuma Advan...

He observes everyone on earth;      his eyes examine  them. 5  The  Lord  examines the righteous,      but the wicked, those who love violence,      he hates with a passion. ------- I was reading this Psalm and for whatever reason, kind of scared me. Lately, I've been thinking about Christianity a lot in a very macro sense and I think a lot of people have the wrong idea of God. More specifically, I think people are selective about what they want to believe about God. For example, often times I feel like people say "oh, God is love and merciful and grateful" and use that as an excuse to live the way they do. Of course God is all of those things, but I think people, myself included, fail to also believe that God is Holy and just. If you really think about it, it's unfathomable (is that a word? lol) to comprehend just how much God hates sin. This Psalm was a good reminder of that and even though there is gra...

1  Why,  Lord , do you stand far off?      Why do you hide yourself  in times of trouble? ------ As I reflect on this Psalm, he first verse immediately stood out to me. I think I've mentioned this before but there are times when I feel like God isn't paying attention. I think a lot of it is my perception, or should I say ignorance. I feel like God is doing His part, just not in the way I want or expect. I remember hearing this sermon where the Pastor talked about how people often pray for a word from God or direction from God and He usually answers, but does not repeat Himself. For example, I remember God convicting me to get rid of my debt and have that be my number one priority a long time ago. Because I didn't really want to listen and deal with  my debt, I kept praying the same prayer asking God for direction, but in actuality, God already did answer me and He made Himself present, but I just chose not to listen. This is a good reminder fo...

9-10 God's a safe-house for the battered,  a sanctuary during bad times. The moment you arrive, you relax; you're never sorry you knocked. Oh man how I do feel battered. Just a lot of things to put me in high stress has been happening lately. Last Sunday's media was a pretty stressful experience to me. I didn't act right, and because I was so bothered by it, I got 'tilted'. Meaning I couldn't even think straight or be focused on the job.  On top of that, I've been working on Ekko Kids (I'm finally done yesterday), that just added to filling up my times where it would have been used as down times, to work. Been pretty stressful about that too because I wasn't meeting the setup deadlines, and Ekko kids camp starts pretty soon.  And just recently there has been a lot of drama at my workplace. And I was given two heavy potential bombs at work. One, my team's and myself's days have been potentially numbered. My lead came...