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Psalm 5

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
    let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
-----

 This Psalm was actually pretty difficult for me. Not difficult in the sense that it convicted me, but difficult in the sense that it didn't, but I think that's ok. As I was meditated, though, this verse did linger in my mind. It got me thinking, "what does it mean to take refuge in God?" "How does one go about taking refuge in God?" I have a problem with letting things go. Whether that's grudges, relationships, people, insecurities, addictions, and the list goes on and on. While I was reading this, I felt myself wanting more and more to figure out what it means to take refuge in God. To be honest, I think I had this mentality where I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy. Maybe it's because things inevitably become bad again. Maybe it's because I never had examples of truly happy people? Maybe I'm just that pessimistic. As I'm walking on this journey, though, I find myself telling myself that it's ok for me to be happy. Maybe I do deserve to feel joy. And if taking refuge in God can lead me to that, then I want to learn how to do that.

 ---

 God, thank you for being a good Dad. Thank you for being a Holy God that protects your children. I pray that as we build our relationship, you would show me what it means to let things go and trust you. May I find true joy in you. Amen.

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