IkonJSJ

Psalm 35 1-3 Harass these hecklers, God, punch these bullies in the nose. Grab a weapon, anything at hand; stand up for me ! Get ready to throw the spear, aim the javelin, at the people who are out to get me. Reassure me; let me hear you say, "I'll save you." I need God's reassurance everyday, literally haha. I'm very needy, and perhaps that's a good quality to have in relation to God? Just before this I had some quiet time with God. And doing that more consistently it has been giving life for me. Everyday, I need to hear from God that everything will be okay. It's what sustains me as I go. It is so easy to slip up to a pool of anxiety and fear. I'm glad I had a chance to be recentered with God. It has been a while. Thank you Lord that you come to my rescue.  That you cast away all of the lies and fears in my heart. That you clear my mind and give it peace.  That you breathe life into my weary body and soul.  I need your daily...

Psalm 34 15 God keeps an eye on his friends, his ears pick up every moan and groan. 16 God won't put up with rebels; he'll cull them from the pack. 17 Is anoyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. 18 If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. 19 Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time. The last stretch for my application is fast approaching, and I'm getting nervous, anxious once again. On top of that, I've been feeling more 'heart sick', in the sense that the desire to be with someone has been more intensified as of late. I can't help to think that I've been making mistakes. Perhaps doing things that would detract from time to get the application done. Or times where I just feel that my mental or physical limitations are reached, and it's hard to keep going. I tend to burn out a lot quicker. Alm...

Psalm 39 - SL - Who am I, that the Lord is still so gracious? v.1 "I said, 'I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, so long as the wicked are in my presence.'" v.3 "My heart became heart within me. As I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: v.7 "'And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you." v.8 "Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the score of the fool!" v.12 "'Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears! For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers." A few weeks back, Juliano got this word from God for me during Abide time. Though it wasn't the affirmation I thought God was going to say, it was very applicable and provide another avenue of God intruding into my thoughts. The verse at the time (and the continued theme) that popped out right away was verse 1. I realiz...

Psalm 33 20-22 We're depending on God; he's everything we need. What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you've got - that's what we're depending on. Lately, I've been intentionally trying to choose no to fret. To choose to pray, rather than trying to toil away without God's help. If all that I'm doing is based on faith. And all that I do depends on God's providence, then I need to be centered in God. More than anything, I need to be attentive to His whispers. His peace. The past two months have been filled with anxiety and fretting. Doing a lot of things to hopefully get to my application goals on my own. But now I try to intentionally pray every morning. I realize I need His peace to keep on going. Using up 30 mins of my mornings felt like it end up being more productive in the long run. Rather than trying to use the most time I can to get a task done. I...

Psalm 38 - Here I am God, Strengthen me Sometimes verses 4 & 9 are more realistic of my days, "For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me." and "O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you." I think I feel guilty when I'm in that mindset. When my own sins and tiredness just come out, and I feel like I'm just waiting on God (v. 15). And that's the thing, I don't really know what I'm waiting for right now. Things are adjusting in my life, and I'm slowly but surely attempting to live this God-centered life. It isn't great, I still suck, and I still am far from what my ideal is. Yet, I want to recognize that there are improvements and to not let my own ego get in the way of the small steps. I know I'm taking it a bit out of context, but verse 18 is also an almost daily activity too - "I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin." The Lord is alw...

But those who want      the best for me, Let them have the last word—a glad shout!—      and say, over and over and over, “ God  is great—everything works      together for good for his servant.” I’ll tell the world how great and good you are,      I’ll shout Hallelujah all day, every day. ----- It's so easy for me to forget about those in my corner that are rooting for me. I am so quick to complain or even give up. Thinking about it, when I give up, I'm not just giving up on myself, I'm giving up on those that believe in me, which is a disservice to them. God has surrounded me with people that want the best for me and I owe it not only to God and myself, but to those that have invested in me. ---- Lord, help me to recognize my blessings, grow from them so that I may be able to bless others. May your seeds planted in me by those around me produce good fruit. Amen.

4  God  met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. ----- This verse really hit me. In light of today's celebration, I realize just how faithful God is, even when we're not. It's been a struggle to continue following God these days as fear and anxiety creep in about loneliness. I'm finding myself closer and closer to 30, and still single. This was definitely not how I planned my life to be. I keep reminding myself that there must be a reason and that God doesn't think i'm ready to be entrusted with one of His daughters yet. However, instead of responding to the challenge with motivation, i find myself in defeat. It's verses like this and days like today when I'm encouraged to keep pursuing God because He will meet me more than halfway. ---- God, thank you for your faithfulness. May this week be marked by my effort to take a step towards you. Amen.

Psalm 32 1 Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be - you get a fresh start, your slate's wiped clean. 2 Count yourself lucky - God holds nothing against you and you're holding nothing back from him. 3 When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groands. 4 The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up. 5 Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone - my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. This Psalm it's personal to me. I read it so many times. It's a psalm God always led me to in a time I couldn't love myself properly. Whenever I sinned, I felt like it was the end of the world. As if I had disappointed a parent, and had to do everything in my strength to regain their love. But God brought me back constantly to this psalm, to declare His love for me. I read this almost everyday. And it still speaks to m...

Psalm 37 - Wait, Trust, and See This almost felt like reading a Proverbs from David. It's full of wisdom, advice, and almost a teaching song. I think I can pinpoint multiple verse where I can just sit on them. I'll just share a few. v.1b "...or be envious of those who do wrong;" At times, as I've struggled, it seemed easier to be in the sinful route. I'm surrounded by amazing people but who aren't Christ followers. And this - without a doubt - influences me and yolks me in ways that aren't 'bad' but may be in sin. Which can get rough. I don't tend to dwell in envy, but it comes up; and like a poison, envy of a sinful life does me no good even when I turn away. v. 4 "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." I want to believe and understand that the desires of my heart will change, transform, and reflect Godly things once I turn and take delight with God. This wasn't a maybe or a potenti...

Psalm 36 - Continued Love, Grace, and Presence of God v. 4 - "He plots trouble while on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he does not reject evil." v. 9 - "For with you is the fountain of life; in your life do we see light." v. 11 - "Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me, nor the hand of the wicked drive me away." These three verses are the ones that stood out the most. These past few weeks have been that of me adjusting to a new lifestyle and schedule, while also receiving from God a missive to get my house in order. In the midst of good things happening, the opportunity to grow with God, and holy inspiration to live a Christ-like lifestyle, I've been stuck or sucking. Verse 4 is a crazy wake up call. Seriously... while on his bed and in a way that is not good. I feel that I am not seeking out sin, but because I'm also not sacrificing for Godly ways - I'm not rejecting evil either. More and more, I know that for ...

Psalm 31 23 Love God, all you saints; God takes care of all who stay close to him, But he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone. 24 Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon. Just recently I have been trying to get to more intentional prayer times. Please pray that I keep up with them ! As the deadlines are getting closer, and there are a lot of areas I need God to move. Whether it be for me personally, or for those around me, I realize I need God more and more daily. I feel things are more heightened in general. Stakes. Intensity of work. Intensity of stress. Intensity of feelings. Intensity of the deep desires of my heart. I don't necessarily mean it in just a negative way, but I also feel it in the positive way. It is all in all very exciting actually. It helps things from getting dull or boring. But above all else, leaves me in a position I'm just fully expectant for God to move. In all of these areas that I expect...

18-19  Watch this: God’s eye is on those who respect him,      the ones who are looking for his love. He’s ready to come to their rescue in bad times;      in lean times he keeps body and soul together. ----- "He's ready to come to their rescue in bad times" When I read this, I'm reminded of WWE. It's kind of a ridiculous comparison, but what I envisioned was a tag team match where the wrestler in the ring is desperately trying to reach their teammate on the sidelines. What really drew me to this was the eagerness of the teammate ready to go in and fight for their teammate. I feel like often times, God is just like the teammate that's ready to fight for us, but the main difference is that we aren't even looking for help. We're just trying to fight with all our might to no avail. I want to be humble enough and aware enough to know that I desperately need God to fight for me. ---- Lord, help me to lean on you. I try to tak...

Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be—      you get a fresh start,      your slate’s wiped clean. 2  Count yourself lucky—      God  holds nothing against you      and you’re holding nothing back from him. ------ These verses are really encouraging for me. I find myself reverting to my old vices, almost as if I'm losing control of my life. I am reminded of how redemptive Christ is. Verse 2 really struck me hard, almost embarrassingly so. The idea that, though I constantly stray away from Him, He holds nothing against me is so indicative of His loving nature. It makes me sad that I don't respond to that love with serving Him as well as I can. It's also encouraging for me knowing that I have a community and brothers to go through life together with. --- Lord, Thank you for not holding grudges. You are more than worthy of my praise and I repent for even letting thoughts com...

Psalm 30 4-5 All you saints ! Sing your hearts out to God ! Thank him to his face ! He gets angry once in a while, but across a lifetime there is only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter. Today's sermon was really good. I felt the Holy Spirit really move. Specially towards the end of the sermon. It just spoke to me so vividly, I was moved to tears. The last portion of the passage I picked stands out. 'The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.' The stress of getting the work done is getting heavier and heavier on me. More and more worrisome and real for me. Now and more than ever I need God to intervene even more in this situation. He assured that everything was in control. That He would help me make it. And I just need to constantly pray and get it done. Today was a good day. Where I got resynced and encouraged by God once again. Thank you Jesus that you provide in these circumstances. Keep giv...