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Psalm 4 - Juliano

Psalm 4

4-5
Complain if you must, but don't lash out.
Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking.
Build your case before God and wait for his verdict.


There are many questions I have for God. Constantly.
I don't usually express them, but they do get buried up in my soul.
And sometimes I can't tell why I'm angry, frustrated, or burnt out.

Why has this happened to me?
Why is my family separated?
Why am I still single? After all of these years of faithfully following you.
Why life seems to get more difficult than easy?
Why is more put on my plate? I thought I was busy enough.
Why others get to enjoy life and I don't?
Why am I in a dry season again?
Why am I being asked to take risks in my life for you again God?

I have all of these things that my heart constantly speaks.
Which sometimes God has to remind me as to why.
And sometimes even knowing the answer, enduring having to go through it just feels agonizing.
There are some good days, in which I'm assured in God's presence.
But others, I just grow sleepless at night fearing the future.
Discouragement just sips in. Lies sip in. And I grow afraid again.

But at the same time I have a general idea for all the answers as God leads me.
And I have left is to trust in God's wisdom. As agonizing as it can be at times.
But there are days that are good. I feel God's embrace, and God's breath fanning to the flame within.
It is a constant battle. A rollercoaster inside.

Thank you Lord, that you give us freedom to express ourselves. 
To bring our burdens and cases to your feet. And ultimately it is you to decide when to respond, and when to provide. 
When to bring life, and when to destroy. 

 Thank you Lord for giving us a space to share. To be heard. And to walk together. 
In your name we pray. Amen. 

Comments

  1. ShaneJuly 6, 2018 at 4:35 PM

    Wow, Juliano. I didn't realize you've been going through so much. It's weird, I feel a pain for what you are going through; yet at the same time, I feel camaraderie too because it means you're also struggling and I can relate. I'm glad you're letting me/us in, and it's awesome that you're still battling and expressing yourself to God!

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