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Psalm 12 - Juliano

Psalm 12

6 And the words of the Lord are flawless,
like silver purified in a crucible,
like gold refined seven times.

Even though it was not the point of the psalm, this passage really stood out to me.
I had received an imagery like this before a long time ago.
During one of the Ekklesias years ago, someone had a word for me like this before I went to start art school.

That God would polish me like gold. I had an idea of what that meant, but it does seem to carry more meaning now.
My younger self thought that I "already experienced all". That "what else can I experience that is new?". Unconciously that is.

That's when the part it says "gold refined seven times" stood out to me.
Realizing that refinement it's not a one go process.
My sort of personality likes to get the hard part stuff first out of the way.
And I always felt like going through the hard process for the "investment of the future" was always the right move.
The slight caveat that I don't realize is that not every situation will allow for me to always do that.
Also a bit foolish of myself to think that applies do character and life journey haha.

God constantly refines us. The process can feel difficult and arduous. But in the end It's always worth it.
There is more and more weight to it after every trial God have put, and every weight He has entrusted us with.
But somehow you are capable to manage with what God entrusts us with.

I feel really tired this morning. Just something as simple as meal prepping has wiped me.
But it is these new things that God has been pushing me with more and more. The mundane and the "grand".
I feel stretched, but I would have been crushed now if I have not done my other refinement seasons well.

This was a good reminder this morning. Much needed one.
I was slowly feeling resentment creeping in. But curious to see where and why God is doing this in the wider scope of things.

Thank you Lord, that you made me the man I am.
I ask that you give me the endurance and the strength to keep going. 
And yet, let me always rest under your wing. Let me always be at your feet daily. 
For I am in need of you everyday. 
As much as my soul wants to grumble or run away. Not my will, but Yours.
I just ask that you give me the fire, courage, to endure it all.

In your name I pray. Amen.

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