9-10
On top of that, I've been working on Ekko Kids (I'm finally done yesterday), that just added to filling up my times where it would have been used as down times, to work. Been pretty stressful about that too because I wasn't meeting the setup deadlines, and Ekko kids camp starts pretty soon.
And just recently there has been a lot of drama at my workplace. And I was given two heavy potential bombs at work. One, my team's and myself's days have been potentially numbered. My lead came to us to say that we may not have a job after we finish this game (which is around April). I think that has made me really worried.
On top of that, yesterday, apparently my lead got into a big conflict with another lead. So he literally messaged us saying "I'm sticking around until the end of the project for you guys. I'm literally out after." Which is honestly not super encouraging. The last thing we needed was this as we are finishing the game. I thought we were making good progress but this happens.
God's a safe-house for the battered,
a sanctuary during bad times.
The moment you arrive, you relax;
you're never sorry you knocked.
Oh man how I do feel battered.
Just a lot of things to put me in high stress has been happening lately.
Last Sunday's media was a pretty stressful experience to me.
I didn't act right, and because I was so bothered by it, I got 'tilted'. Meaning I couldn't even think straight or be focused on the job.
I didn't act right, and because I was so bothered by it, I got 'tilted'. Meaning I couldn't even think straight or be focused on the job.
On top of that, I've been working on Ekko Kids (I'm finally done yesterday), that just added to filling up my times where it would have been used as down times, to work. Been pretty stressful about that too because I wasn't meeting the setup deadlines, and Ekko kids camp starts pretty soon.
And just recently there has been a lot of drama at my workplace. And I was given two heavy potential bombs at work. One, my team's and myself's days have been potentially numbered. My lead came to us to say that we may not have a job after we finish this game (which is around April). I think that has made me really worried.
On top of that, yesterday, apparently my lead got into a big conflict with another lead. So he literally messaged us saying "I'm sticking around until the end of the project for you guys. I'm literally out after." Which is honestly not super encouraging. The last thing we needed was this as we are finishing the game. I thought we were making good progress but this happens.
It has been too much in my mind. And yet, I feel God gave me strength to at least endure it. Luckily I haven't given up to despair or panic. In a way, I see God trying to push my faith muscles. Learning to really use the disciplines of our faith, like being still and pray.
I remember literally just bowing on my bathroom, naked, because I felt overwhelmed. And God gave me Psalm 78. I new discipline I need to remember. Which is, to remember, literally. The Psalm goes over how God has done so much to the Israelites, and yet they stumbled and sinned during the desert season because they didn't remember.
I remember literally just bowing on my bathroom, naked, because I felt overwhelmed. And God gave me Psalm 78. I new discipline I need to remember. Which is, to remember, literally. The Psalm goes over how God has done so much to the Israelites, and yet they stumbled and sinned during the desert season because they didn't remember.
So I started trying to remember everything that God has done in my life, big and small. How God gave me a job. How God brought me here to the U.S. How God brought me out of darkness, when I thought myself as a sinner with no redemption whatsoever. How God has brought me true joy, when my life was majorly marked by sadness. How God used me to engage in spiritual battles, as well as prophecy, and witness God's provisions, healings, and miracles to others. How God started a journey of healing to my family. How God has provided to my desires as an artist, to use these giftings to serve the church, and how continually He wants to take me further with that. How God has redeemed my view of Korean culture and the Korean church. How I was able to see my friend Kyle accept Christ in college.
All of these things. As I am writing to myself, I need to remember it. Literally keep it noted somewhere that I can access it. I can't fully rely on just emotion on inspiration alone. God does not work that way. God is now leading me do be disciplined in remembering. So when times are tough, I can look back at all of the good He has done.
Proclaiming just some of the things God has done in my life, I can feel anxiety waning away. I can feel the fire of the old times slowly returning.
Thank you Jesus. That even one act of your presence is enough to keep us fulled for the rest of our life times. But by your grace, you keep on giving more and more.
Praise it be to your name !
Amen.
Proclaiming just some of the things God has done in my life, I can feel anxiety waning away. I can feel the fire of the old times slowly returning.
Thank you Jesus. That even one act of your presence is enough to keep us fulled for the rest of our life times. But by your grace, you keep on giving more and more.
Praise it be to your name !
Amen.
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